CONFUSED!!!!

Lot of times, the people who you think loved you the most prove by their actions that their priorities are different, with you being in the lowest rung of their priority ladder. They cry out from rooftops that they love you, would do anything to keep you happy and promise you the universe, but when it comes to the part where they “act” upon these, they are shaky. They try to convince you that they have something else/ someone else that needs attention; if that doesn’t work out, they say, “You would understand my position if you really loved me” – thereby putting the blame on you; if that doesn’t work out, they try giving you the silent treatment. Same thing is been happening in my case. There is this person who I love most in my life and this person claims that he loves me with his whole heart but his priority seems to be different.

Putting all that in the back burner, I have to just go back to work tomorrow morning after a week of sick leave and there is so much more to catch up on and to continue from where I left it. The leave I took has made me feel a lot detached to everyone; made me see everything from a distance; analyze people and events without any sense of belonging; to be nonchalant and most of all, not loving anyone and thats why, I think it is so important for people like me to work 365 days and not to take any bed rest unless unconscious.

Lately, I have had so many thoughts and every time I sit and think about something, I tell to myself that I'd capture the thought-train and post it on my blog; but later when I sit to write a post, words fail me. I forget what I had thought or what triggered the thoughts.

I know this post has become a lot senti and many people who know me/read my blog regularly might me wondering what is wrong with me or if I have gone nuts (I know most of you think that already!) or if something tragic has happened to me. I really don’t know what is wrong with me people. May be I am thinking too much.........anyways, I will going to watch "Hang over" on tuesday with my friends so that might refresh my mind. I just have to learn to let it go....


love,
snehal