My Sejal......

It is amazing how soon you forget things .. The first time I saw and held my lil’ one is still fresh in my memory but everything else is a haze. Right, trying to remember now..the first memory apparently goes back to very long nights when we used to struggle to remain awake :D.

During the first three months there was not a single hour on the clock that we didn’t see. Some days she would wake up at midnight, some days at 1pm some days at 2pm and so on. Getting to a routine was a far-cry. I tried reading all the books I could, Manoj kept going on internet wanting to find out how to put Sejal in a shedule. Then Sejal had this typical time of 9 pm where she use to start crying without any apparent reason!!! It took her the first few days to get adjusted to the light and all the surroundings which were obviously quite different when she was in the darkness of the womb. Meanwhile, friends and family poured in their wishes and enquiries in every possible mode. Some called, some sent messages over Orkut and Facebook, some visited and some sent cards and gifts by mail. We had organised a small naming ceremony party on the 28^th day which went well in spite of my clumsiness and last minute preparation.

Manoj's Parents were of great help during first 8 weeks after SEJAL was born but they had to go back to India as they had only 3 months visiting visa. They were quite sad to leave their new found love. After they left and Manoj had to go with them to India, I was all alone for 5 days with 8 weeks old Sejal which was not at all easy with her 9pm tantrum. However I had Julie Benson, Danise Walsh , Arundhati Tekale's Help and guidance. Julie use to come home every day to give me company at night, Denise told us all about Roller&coaster website and gave all the books on parenting. Arundhati almost called me every morning to enquire about the day.Thank you Guys!

Sejal was very quiet in her initial days, she would just lie down and smile at us. People suggested to be careful as soon as she entered her 3^rd month, they said she could start rolling over anytime now. So, our cautions rose and we started putting pillows beside her every time she was on the family bed and kept a watchful eye on her almost all the time. She would lift her legs high up in the air and wiggle them but that’s about it. It was great fun to watch her, she was super-attracted to the lights, wherever we went she would choose a favourite light on the ceiling and kept staring at it. It was not just the lights but anything which came into focus for those lil’ eyes, she would stare at them for quite a long time.. Last night she kept playing with her Dad...It is amazing to see how the lil’ life starts to take in all the surroundings..

With Regards,
Snehal

Bye Bye 2009 :)

Year 2009 is in it's final laps and I want to say goodbye to this very special year with this note...
This year made me glad and sad, sensitive and stone-hearted, attached and detached, all in the same year. It discovered a new side of me that I never knew of... it taught me to truly let go. Some people think Letting Go means distancing from people, cursing them and staying angry...but Letting Go doesn't mean that. Letting Go basically means being able to smile even as you detach from things and people that crush your spirit...it also means keeping no grudges and staying in peace, even when you have to live without what you once craved for. Slowly I'm becoming good at being able to let go of things that I badly went after before, and still be content. I've learnt to let it go, thanks to 2009!

So, here's wishing you all a very Happy New Year!

May 2010 bring your dreams a step closer to you.

Keep smiling! Take care, be happy.

With Love,

Snehal

"Life"- stop trying to understand it..just live it..and love it.

The girl in the picture is Katie Kirkpatrick, she is 21 . Next to her, her fiancé, Nick, 23. The picture was taken shortly before their wedding ceremony, held on January 11, 2005 in the US . Katie has terminal cancer and spend hours a day receiving medication. In the picture, Nick is waiting for her on one of the many sessions of chemo to end.

In spite of all the pain, organ failures, and morphine shots, Katie is going along with her wedding and took care of every detail. The dress had to be adjusted a few times due to her constant weight loss

An unusual accessory at the party was the oxygen tube that Katie used throughout the ceremony and reception as well. The other couple in the picture are Nick's parents. Excited to see their son marrying his high school sweetheart

Katie, in her wheelchair with the oxygen tube , listening to a song from her husband and friends

At the reception, katie had to take a few rests. The pain did not allow her to stand for long periods

Katie died five days after her wedding day. Watching a woman so ill and weak getting married and with a smile on her face makes us think..... Happiness is reachable, no matter how long it lasts .
We should stop making our and others lives complicated and should live and let others live:)

:)
With love,
Snehal

I am in love with iPod

I have fallen in love with the iPod. No, I am not listening to music at all. I can't, I find that complete waste of time and it also gives me headache. Ever since Sejal arrived, I was missing my books and my reading. I just wasn't getting time to go to library...yes manoj, I know i have car and i know to drive but its such a big effort to take Sejal out and then car-seat and then to make sure that she doesn't cry in the library. So thanks to my Dublin county council library who gave me free membership to audio-books. Yes, I am the member for last 4 years now!!!

Anyways, I have the books in my own comfort now. While making chapaties, walking or even cleaning the house! God bless the technology!! My husband things I’m nuts but he also believes it’s just a phase. The iPod is his, you see!

I just started reading.........ahhh sorry.... listening to, and this is while cooking curry, A suitable Boy. I had no desire to read or buy this book until a friend recommended it . I like Vikram Seth and I went ahead and downloaded the book from the library. I completed the book in mere 4 hours. 2 hours in the morning and then 2 hours when sejal was fast asleep. I did like the book. I did read Vikram Seth's The Golden Gate 2 years ago and I liked his style of writing and I must say yet again he has not disappointed me.

Today I started listening to, The Devil Wore Prada. I had no desire to read or buy this book until I bumped into a trailer of the movie on Sky. I like Meryl Streep so I went ahead downloaded the book. So far I’ve finished maybe up to an hour and I can’t say it’s doing much for me. If I was reading this book, I’d be skipping pages. Some of the stuff is painfully bad and the writer uses the word “adult brain” about a million times in one hour. So maybe Meryl Streep isn’t being too smart taking on such a role; but she’s Meryl Streep, I guess she can do what she wants.


But still its not the same thing as taking that cup of tea, seating by the window and reading a novel. Ahh I missed those days!! But At the moment i am still loving my iPod.

Cheers to technology,
Love,
Snehal

nice Poem

A poem by an African kid:

When I born, I black

When I grow up, I black

When I go in sun, I black

When I scared, I black

When I sick, I black

And when I die, I still black

And you white fellow

When you born, you pink

When you grow up, you white

When you go in sun, you red

When you cold, you blue

When you scared, you yellow

When you sick, you green

And when you die, you grey

And you’re calling me coloured???

I am missing India

Mostly, I go through life without missing India. It's been 4 years now since I moved to Ireland. And I am missing those tiny little details of india....The combination of smell of tea from tapari and rain...oh I can still smell it...Myself and my friend use to go to this tapri after days hardwork and one sip of that tea and our full days triedness use to disappear........ahhh those were the days...
If I felt like a dosa, all I needed to do was walk down to Shivsagar. If I felt like samosas, I went down to Rangoli. If I felt like having Mandeli or real nice prowns curry and bhakri, we went to Sayba. Everything was just a five-minute walk away. If I felt like watching a Hindi movie or marathi , I could watch the latest one in a theatre or pick up an obscure DVD from one of the many DVD stores. And Its been almost 3 months eversince Mee shivaji raje bolatoy movie and I have not watched it......:)

But since I moved to Ireland , there's a hole in my heart, a hole as big as a good samosa. I miss the food, people and hot sun! In Ireland, most of the Indian restaurants are managed by Bangaladshi and the food is just not that Indian, that...good. I'm sure it has nothing to do with people being from Bangladesh, it's just that the quality of the Indian food in Dublin sucks.

I miss India, a lot. I watch Hindi/marathi movie songs on YouTube, buy movies off of eBay, and read Rediff.com almost every day. Dublin is so extremely calm that it makes me want to go back to India and indulge in the diversity there.

Being an immigrant is a strange thing; you become really good at adjusting to new places and not missing the places you leave behind. But I can't shake off the taste of a good samosa, a well made fish curry, or dosa with coconut chutney from road side, no matter how well adjusted I am in the place where I live. As you can see, what I really miss is the food, and I torture myself by writing about delicious Indian food. Food is life and Indian food is perfection (depending, of course, upon who makes it).

Anyways, I am off to sleep now....and i am sure i am going to dream about these samosa's tonight..


Love,
Snehal

CONFUSED!!!!

Lot of times, the people who you think loved you the most prove by their actions that their priorities are different, with you being in the lowest rung of their priority ladder. They cry out from rooftops that they love you, would do anything to keep you happy and promise you the universe, but when it comes to the part where they “act” upon these, they are shaky. They try to convince you that they have something else/ someone else that needs attention; if that doesn’t work out, they say, “You would understand my position if you really loved me” – thereby putting the blame on you; if that doesn’t work out, they try giving you the silent treatment. Same thing is been happening in my case. There is this person who I love most in my life and this person claims that he loves me with his whole heart but his priority seems to be different.

Putting all that in the back burner, I have to just go back to work tomorrow morning after a week of sick leave and there is so much more to catch up on and to continue from where I left it. The leave I took has made me feel a lot detached to everyone; made me see everything from a distance; analyze people and events without any sense of belonging; to be nonchalant and most of all, not loving anyone and thats why, I think it is so important for people like me to work 365 days and not to take any bed rest unless unconscious.

Lately, I have had so many thoughts and every time I sit and think about something, I tell to myself that I'd capture the thought-train and post it on my blog; but later when I sit to write a post, words fail me. I forget what I had thought or what triggered the thoughts.

I know this post has become a lot senti and many people who know me/read my blog regularly might me wondering what is wrong with me or if I have gone nuts (I know most of you think that already!) or if something tragic has happened to me. I really don’t know what is wrong with me people. May be I am thinking too much.........anyways, I will going to watch "Hang over" on tuesday with my friends so that might refresh my mind. I just have to learn to let it go....


love,
snehal